Most of us think of happiness as a reaction to an event. Sadly winning the lottery or eliminating the wrinkles did not give us the lasting thrill we were searching for. Yet we keep looking for things to give us the joy in life. We fail to see that true happiness does not depend on what is happening around us. In fact it has all to do with our state of mind and taking responsibility to the commitment of being happy.
We have all been given the tools to make us happy. In fact our mind, heart and soul are already fully coded and wired up for happiness. All we have to do is look for it in the right places. Yet we often take for granted what we have been given freely. Why should we be happy or even accept the belief that to be joyful is our life purpose. The reason we want to be happy is because happy people expand their capacity to give. And remember, what we give out comes back to us in bucket loads.
Unhappy people tend to exhibit selfish behaviours and act from a place of need or emptiness. When you are joyful you tend to be more giving with your time, money and your happiness. How you perceive a situation depends on your level of commitment in seeing the worst or the best in people. Happy people tend to cope with circumstances more effectively. Your happiness depends on how you interpret and integrate situations in your mind. So you plant the seeds and grow the best or the worst interpretations from within yourself.
Comparing yourself to others is probably the shortest route to misery. Seeing yourself as a victim of circumstance will keep you stuck in unhappiness. When someone hurts you, it is often not about you at all. Understanding this will help you move away from feeling victimized. You tell yourself that you will be happy when the kids grow up or when you start a new job. You then feel disappointed when you get the things you were waiting for and you are not happy. So again, you choose a new set of certain things to happen. Remember, your emotions and your reality is determined by your thoughts.
You are a mass of contradictions. You strive for balance, yet you live in the midst of opposites. There is no good without bad, no light without dark and no perfection without imperfection. You always try to be a better person to accept and love yourself just as you are. You take life for granted and yet you know that life does not last. Part of dealing with the balance is to understand that life is not just about the big moments but learning to cope with the small experiences as well.
Look at your patterns. When you get stuck in traffic, look around you and think about how others may feel. Ask yourself which behaviours will bring you less stress. When you do something compassionate for someone, how does that feel. Next time someone upsets you, remain in the moment and hear what they are saying. Don’t allow the circumstance to interfere with your state of mind. Try giving someone some happiness and do not tell them it came from you. And it will feel like something like magic just happened to you ...