The way we feel not only affects the images we have in our thoughts and feelings, but also the way we talk to ourselves. Most of us are aware that if we say bad things to ourselves, we will most likely feel bad. How we say those things, our voice tone, our demeanour, will affect our mood and how we see the world. So speak nicely to yourself.
Feelings and emotions are not things we have, but the things we do. We create these sensations through what we do inside our head. If we build grumpy habits we will just get good at having bad feelings. If we think cheerful happy positive thoughts, we will have a happy perspective, to attract happy people into our lives. Happy people tend to attract an environment of happiness. Happiness is a skill, an activity to master, just like riding a bike. And just like any other skill, the more you practice it, the better you will get at it.
This is no different than when you think of past memories that ‘they’ took advantage of you. They treated you badly and that you have a hard time forgetting. Sometimes bad things happen to you. The problem with your bad things is that you dwell on them, they have a ripple effect and when you dwell on things too much, they blow out of proportion. Yes, they may have manipulated and deceived you. You feel betrayed and you know reliving that stuff over and over in your head does not help you either.
So who has control over your thoughts and feelings? Is it your choice to take your past and live a better future or take your past and dwell on it. Can you learn the lesson the past is offering you? Can you be a wiser person, create a better future for yourself and be more decisive? Allow the ‘present’ to be a gift and the ‘future’ an opportunity to feel good about yourself.
Accept the trauma in your life and understand that those involved knew no better. Or accept that your life will stop in the past and you will forever have challenges to move forward. Forgive and decide that you can change how you feel. Remember your past as a valuable lesson in order to change that experience into wisdom. Imagine in front of you a canvas of your life. You have a choice to paint over any unwanted negative image or horrible voice. You have the choice to focus on any part of your life and paint your own creation. Consider reality is not what your think it is, but rather what you think becomes your reality. Practice, practice, practice feeling good about yourself.