Many of us know what we should be doing and don’t do it. We know we shouldn’t eat that chocolate cake but we do it and then we exercise harder the next day to compensate for it. Having a choice means that you are capable of feeling more than one thing. Choice is when you can think on purpose, not when you’re a victim of your thoughts and your thoughts are a bunch of involuntary stimulus responses.
Have different sets of possibilities, so that you can choose intentionally with a clear idea of the direction or outcome that your choice will provide for you. Choice is about the acceptance of the best decision you can make, given the options that are presented to you at a point in time. This is without feeling regret because you should’ve chosen something else.
If we have two choices we can oscillate between them. If we have three or more choices it starts to feel a lot better. This is about learning to feel differently and making sure the better feeling occurs when you’re moving in the direction you want to go. You need to experience neurologically what the options are before you can exercise voluntary choice. For example if you are terrified of heights, you know it is a better to be calm but that does not mean you have the choice to be calm, at least not until you can either feel calm or terrified.
Most people who complain of being stuck, will argue about what it is that keeps them that way and how overwhelming and unique it is. As long as you think of it in that way, it will overwhelm you and be habituated. Consider whiting out that picture and allow that movie in your mind to fade out, then immediately replace that image with something you prefer. Take hold of the brightness control and turn it all the way to white and make the image disappear to a blur. Do this five times so that it becomes difficult to recall the picture even if you try.
Being repetitive with a new habit, allows your unconscious time to accept and develop the new message. This will train your mind to work on accentuating your desires, hopes and dreams and make them irresistible. Place value on the ideas in your head about things worth doing, your relationships and getting the job you want. Focus your mind on what is important and rewarding to you, not on what is terrible about life. Reflect on how to please the people you care about, how to act in situations where you need to impress somebody important and how to make sure you don’t do stupid things.
Either you plan and take action to move yourself in the direction you want to go or you try to cope with the thoughts, feelings and experiences that threaten to overwhelm you. If a person is shy, they generally have a perception that people will not like them. Subconsciously, they are planning for people not to like them for who they are. When they meet new people they feel nervous and awkward and they not being themselves, so people generally don’t like them. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. You are what you think.