Often how we feel tends to influence how we make others feel. So if you want to be around the people you care about more, you need to feel good about yourself more. Think of your past experiences that when you feel horrible about something you are recalling an awful event. This memory is triggering an internal reaction to an emotional trauma. You can change the way you represent that experience in your mind by changing how you feel about it.
You want to retain your memories because collectively they make you the person you are today. What changing a memory can do is to lift your energy to a higher level and shift your focus into a more positive direction. If you change how you present a memory in your mind you can diminish the feelings when you think of it. This makes it easier for you to cope with a situation if your thoughts have stopped you from doing the things you want to do.
If the thoughts in your head are bigger than life then it is probably happening to you right now. To break that program you need to make a decision to place those thoughts behind you and take that story to its conclusion. See yourself floating inside of yourself and see yourself and everyone else around you watching the scenes in reverse. Run the pictures in your head all the way back to the very beginning like pressing rewind on the DVD player. Now give yourself in the movie a different ending by instilling in yourself things like confidence, trust, respect and gratitude. If it helps play some ridiculous music in the background that makes you laugh.
If you want to move forward from loss and grief, you need to present the memories in your mind differently. Think of your trauma as a movie on a TV screen and drop yourself into your movie. Drop into your feelings of strength and selflessness and see yourself behaving differently. Now run the scenes in your mind very fast facing backwards, back to the present whilst humming some happy music. Make the movie small in a tiny screen in front of you and see it fade into the distance behind you. Keep doing this whole movie thing multiple times and mix up different scenarios until you feel you are in greater control. Get a friend to help you if that would make the change process easier.
In moments of stress and anxiety your thoughts are recalling yourself doing that very thing again that stresses you. Take those thoughts that are near, big, colourful and bright and change those images to small, black and white and move it farther away. Focus on something that makes you feel positive, in lively conversation, smiling and real big and place it over the stressful images. Making a joke of it all and laughing at your problem will help you see things from a different perspective.
If those thoughts and feelings still keep churning in your body then close your eyes and imagine standing in front of an imaginary square. Give your square a colour that you can associate with being love, loved and loving. Now step into your square. Notice the expression on your face, your body posture, your breath, the light in your eyes, the grace and ease of all your movements. Like putting on a new set of clothes, view yourself in a mirror of yourself with confidence, the powerful you. See through those eyes, hear through those ears and feel your feelings. As you notice yourself, what do you smell, what do you taste. Feel a strong sense of power through every part of your body. Now step out of your square and open your eyes. Keep doing this until your thoughts and feelings feel uplifted.
Your experiences will always be a part of you and that does not change. What you can change is the pain in your stomach may seem less sharp, you may feel stronger, more confident and in control of your emotions. To feel inner strength you need to strive continuously to maintain a high vibration to attract higher vibrations of people to surround you and support you. Remember, you attract what you think about most, so what do you want to spend the most time thinking about?